Can someone please please grade my essay? like an english proffessor perhaps, i would truly appreciate it!!?

this is for an essay competition i am entering


any one who gives me thorough help gets my true appreciation and 10 points, and ill write about you one day!! :) this essay is for my dupont on how does age affect memory, i am also okay with getting constructive critism so if you feel its neccessary please by all means, go ahead.





Each and every person out of the 6.794 billion populations today have memories. Every single day, we create memories simply by living our lives, although some of us have trouble remembering it. They say that age has an affect in memory. In a specific case that is true, its known as alzhiemer’s. Alzhimers is a mental disorder that causes you to loose memory, and it usually happens in your old ages. It is not treatable. Sadly, it only get’s worse and worse. Many people surronding those with alzhimer’s are truly hurt because their one loved ones are forgotten or mistakened for someone else. The brain has a huge role dealing with memory.


It is said that an estimate of thousands of brain cells deteriorates, or die, in every passing day. This would imply that as years go by, we are loosing millions of brain cells. As we age, we tend to continually forget more and more detail about our lives and our experiences. We will tend to remember significant milestones and extraordinary experiences, but the everyday experiences of living will not be retained. So, beware of details of events which occurred years ago. Those details will tend to be conjured up, rather than remembered explicitly.


However, others have said that gender affects memory. That statement is false. Gender has nothing to do with it but age does and genetics definitely does. Addicted drug users have no memory because drugs kill perfectly good brain cells as alcohol does if abused.


There are also many changes that undergo as a person ages. They affect memory. The brain gets bigger, and different parts develop at different times during infancy and adolescence. For example, when the lobe develops, where the primary visual cortex is, you begin to realize that just because you can't see something, doesn't mean it's not there. That's why peeka boo is so fun for infants, they're primary visual sight hasn't fully developed.


Many people have questioned this, and people have been interviewed about this. An old lady named Silvia Garmen had said “I too can remember back to many early memories. I think I am still young at heart because I can remember wonderful things from my youth. I am only 47, but I do understand what you are saying. I am now dealing with a daughter who is so much like me at 18 it makes me laugh. It can be very easy to become sad at lost youth, but I choose to shake it of and go play in some mud puddles or blow bubbles. Hope my answer makes sense.”


There are many things that affect the memory change. LACK OF EXERCISE is a big factor. The older you get, the slower EVERYTHING gets. Cells need blood and oxygen to stay alive. For example look at Jack LaLanne, a body builder at age 90. He is a very ALERT man. Look at people overweight at age 50, they cannot remember important events.


Although age is a very important factor for memory changing, there are ways you can help improve it too. When they do something, they need to concentrate and shouldn't be bothered by others. When a person focuses on the subject, he/she will accept it better and will be able to store it well. People's attention and focus are turned off when they are sleeping, but always on when they are awake. Focusing attention on one subject can be a challenge. This is because people are afraid that they are going to miss something that is going on around them. Since a person can only do one thing at a time, other subjects should be forgotten, and the attention should be on the subject. If people think this way, it will be easier to focus and remember the things they have learned or experienced.


Memory is a very important part of people's lives. Without it, people basically wouldn't have a life. They wouldn't know what they are doing, where they are, or what they are thinking of. They wouldn't be able to know anything. Just being able to breath, and just because their heart is pumping, that doesn't mean that they have a life. If they don' t know what to do and just lie there, its pointless to live. How can they live without it? They basically can't. There is absolutely no way to live without knowing what they are doing. Everything they are thinking of, or doing all comes from memories. Remember, whatever they are doing, they are allowed to do it because of memory and its fun.|||I'm not sure how you talk but from reading your paper it seems as though you written how you speak. Many young people make that mistake when writing papers. Never write how you speak it must always be a tad bit formal. And make sure to read it out loud to yourself to see how it sounds you'll always be able to tell where you need to make changes. Also, the "synonyms" tab when you right click on your mouse is your friend. If you want to find a way to make a bland word stand out more use it but make sure you know what the word means that you choose and that's it's used in the correct context. Most importantly always give yourself a few days or weeks preferably to look and edit over your paper taking time off between. When you take time off from editing and then come back a few days later to edit you'll notice errors you didn't notice before because you're not constantly immersed in the papers for hours to the point that incorrect sentences start filling in them selves and incorrect words are out of place but because you read it over so much in a single setting your mind tricks you into thinking everything is where it should be. Also, you are too wordy. Don't use 5 words when 3 will do. A sentence like "Every Passing day" could have been summed up in "Every day"! Good Luck!